"A dog carrying a nice piece of meat that he had stolen, was crossing a log over a river on his way home. He saw his reflection in the water and saw another dog with a wonderful piece of meat in its mouth. The dog thought it was another dog and he wanted that piece of meat also. So he snapped at it greedily. However, when he did this, he dropped the piece he had and the reflection disappeared as well."
-Aesop's Fable
risk management
I remember having a conversation with a guy once who told me it's hard for him to find a girl who can fulfill all his needs, and even if he did come across her he'd be hesitant to make her his "everything" girl because it really came down to the risk of losing.. well, everything.
I guess basically in finding a girl that could fulfill 80, 90, or maybe even 100% of his needs, by letting her be the one to take care of ALL of them, he was worried that should something fall thru, he would be losing ALL of them.. rather than in his current situation where every girl had her role to play.. one for sex, one for convo, one for fun, one for loyalty&home-cooked meals, etc etc..
Do people think its preferable to spread out the fulfillment of your "needs" over several people? I don't know. I've thought about it in the recent months. So far, I've never really tried this "getting different things from different people" technique-- if there's somebody I'm feeling more than likely they are able to offer me all the things I want.
Not that that's an easy task--finding it all in one person.. so I definitely understand why people aren't patient enough to wait until they find the "complete package" or whatever. Or maybe it's not even hard for some people but they'd just RATHER not put "all their eggs in one basket" or whatever-- so that when they lose, they're losing the fulfillment of 10% of their needs rather than 80%.
But honestly, if I don't feel like somebody is the complete package, I'm not even interested in them and therefore I lose any motivation to keep dealing with them. It would be really hard for me to say to myself "well, this guy is good for stimulating conversation, and I have great physical chemistry with this other guy, AND this other guy is just goofy and makes me laugh.. so, I'm gonna fuck with all of them for those purposes only." And then, what happens if you happen to come across that 1 who COULD take care of every aspect. Do you purposely keep him restricted to his allotted role and ignore the fact that he very well could do everything the other guys are doing, and probably do it better? Do you limit you& his relationship for the sake of keeping your assets diversified?
That's what it really comes down to. Asset diversification. When it comes to literal assets, I know one of the smartest & strongest things you can do for your personal wealth is diversification. Any investor will tell you that a diversified portfolio is a strong one, because it lowers your risk of losing it all. I understand that concept. I do.
So if I can see that it makes very good sense when it comes to finances and other areas of life, why is it so hard for me to see myself doing that? Why isn't it a natural inclination?
And IF it is such a good idea to practice that in relationships as well as other areas of life, why does anybody EVER stop? If a diversified portfolio is a strong one, why would anybody ever put all their eggs in one basket? Does that mean it's necessarily a "weakening" move?
When does it become worth so much that people are willing to ignore the aforementioned "risks" ..and is it EVER a strengthening move..
So maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there really is something to not putting all your eggs in one basket. Maybe I should try this& see what it's all about..
I guess basically in finding a girl that could fulfill 80, 90, or maybe even 100% of his needs, by letting her be the one to take care of ALL of them, he was worried that should something fall thru, he would be losing ALL of them.. rather than in his current situation where every girl had her role to play.. one for sex, one for convo, one for fun, one for loyalty&home-cooked meals, etc etc..
Do people think its preferable to spread out the fulfillment of your "needs" over several people? I don't know. I've thought about it in the recent months. So far, I've never really tried this "getting different things from different people" technique-- if there's somebody I'm feeling more than likely they are able to offer me all the things I want.
Not that that's an easy task--finding it all in one person.. so I definitely understand why people aren't patient enough to wait until they find the "complete package" or whatever. Or maybe it's not even hard for some people but they'd just RATHER not put "all their eggs in one basket" or whatever-- so that when they lose, they're losing the fulfillment of 10% of their needs rather than 80%.
But honestly, if I don't feel like somebody is the complete package, I'm not even interested in them and therefore I lose any motivation to keep dealing with them. It would be really hard for me to say to myself "well, this guy is good for stimulating conversation, and I have great physical chemistry with this other guy, AND this other guy is just goofy and makes me laugh.. so, I'm gonna fuck with all of them for those purposes only." And then, what happens if you happen to come across that 1 who COULD take care of every aspect. Do you purposely keep him restricted to his allotted role and ignore the fact that he very well could do everything the other guys are doing, and probably do it better? Do you limit you& his relationship for the sake of keeping your assets diversified?
That's what it really comes down to. Asset diversification. When it comes to literal assets, I know one of the smartest & strongest things you can do for your personal wealth is diversification. Any investor will tell you that a diversified portfolio is a strong one, because it lowers your risk of losing it all. I understand that concept. I do.
So if I can see that it makes very good sense when it comes to finances and other areas of life, why is it so hard for me to see myself doing that? Why isn't it a natural inclination?
And IF it is such a good idea to practice that in relationships as well as other areas of life, why does anybody EVER stop? If a diversified portfolio is a strong one, why would anybody ever put all their eggs in one basket? Does that mean it's necessarily a "weakening" move?
When does it become worth so much that people are willing to ignore the aforementioned "risks" ..and is it EVER a strengthening move..
So maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there really is something to not putting all your eggs in one basket. Maybe I should try this& see what it's all about..
Oh Ceceliaaa you're breaking my heart, you're shaking my confidence daily
I turn uh, 23 in a few hours.
I need to start writing again. I was clicking thru my blog today and was amazed at how little I've been writing. I guess that so much has changed in the past few months that I haven't even had time to keep up in real life, let alone right about it.
But my birthday present to myself this year is to make a post, once a day. Let's see how it goes.
I feel amazing right now.
So grateful for the people in my life.. I don't need to name names, you know who you are.
THANK YOU.
I need to start writing again. I was clicking thru my blog today and was amazed at how little I've been writing. I guess that so much has changed in the past few months that I haven't even had time to keep up in real life, let alone right about it.
But my birthday present to myself this year is to make a post, once a day. Let's see how it goes.
I feel amazing right now.
So grateful for the people in my life.. I don't need to name names, you know who you are.
THANK YOU.
i wish you all a moment of clarity
If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, looks like a duck...
It's disturbing when a woman dumbs herself down to make a doomed relationship work.
Because after it all,
after you've heard all their excuses and even made a few of your own on their behalf,
after you've asked all the questions you already know the answers to,
after you've traded in an uncertain future in happiness for a certain future in misery,
after your counter-intuitive and counter-productive actions,
after you've made a fool of yourself, in front of family,
after you've made a mockery of everything you wanted in life,
after you've asked them to make a mockery of their real self and become your puppet,
after you've spent all that time adjusting, molding and morphing not only your being but your own perception of the truth,
after it's all said and done all you're left with is a warped version of your life before it.
That instinct, that intuition..
How can somebody be your soulmate when your soul is the exact place you feel that it's not right?
I'm not perfect, trust me I'm not. But I've never tried to make a circle fit into a square. And I've never needed an excuse or reason, not from myself, not from anybody else, to recognize a duck when I see one.
To all the usually strong women who have weakened because of the fear of insecurity..
I wish you all a moment of clarity
Interracial relationships.
Why are so many black girls opposed to black guys with white women? If black women believe they are equals to white women, and black men and white men etc, if they insist they should be able to work alongside them, live in the same neighborhoods, and not be judged by the color of their skin.. why are you doing it to other people?
And in any case, maybe 's just not attracted to you and so he's supposed to be with you just because you're black? Reggie Bush is not going for your ass regardless of which white girl may or may not be in the picture.
I've said it once, I'll say it again.
And in any case, maybe 's just not attracted to you and so he's supposed to be with you just because you're black? Reggie Bush is not going for your ass regardless of which white girl may or may not be in the picture.
I've said it once, I'll say it again.
Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis
Lmao. I love these. I don't have one favorite so... just start.
Conan O'Brien.
Bradley Cooper.
Charlize Theron.
Ben Stiller.
Michael Cera.
Natalie Portman.
John Hamm.
Jimmy Kimmel.
Conan O'Brien.
Bradley Cooper.
Charlize Theron.
Ben Stiller.
Michael Cera.
Natalie Portman.
John Hamm.
Jimmy Kimmel.
Fuck Farmville.
What the hell is this and why the hell do people keep inviting me to help them with their farms? I don't care about your strawberry crops needing watering. Why the fuck are you growing virtual strawberries in the first place? You took on this imaginary responsibility, stop trying to drag me into your madness. Stop "inviting" me to help you with your farm. That's not even an invite, more like an insult that you think I have so little of a life that this would even be remotely appealing to me, and even if I was THAT bored I'd start my own goddamn farm. I don't work for other people for free. EVEN MORESO now that I've learned the ONLY thing you do in the "game" "Farmville" is click little squares over and over to either plant, water, or harvest crops. I say "game" because this sounds more like a direct path to carpal tunnel syndrome. Literally the better& faster you are at repeatedly clicking the same square, the better you will be at the game.
The really sad part is that people are devoting so many hours to these mythical ass farms when there's starving children in Africa and shit. If these people put the time into a REAL garden with , you know, an EDIBLE crop, they could probably solve world hunger.
The really sad part is that people are devoting so many hours to these mythical ass farms when there's starving children in Africa and shit. If these people put the time into a REAL garden with , you know, an EDIBLE crop, they could probably solve world hunger.
American Holidays.
I don't understand why Americans celebrate Cinco de Mayo. It's been my understanding that this country doesn't even like Mexicans unless they're cleaning our hotel rooms and even then, we're eager to blame them for missing iPods or not realizing we actually wanted to save that rolled-up wad of paper on the floor. Apparently Americans celebrate Cinco de Mayo even more than Mexicans do.. not that that surprises me. Americans love any excuse to get intoxicated. Like St. Patrick's Day. Everybody seemed surprised when I said I didn't have plans for St. Patrick's Day. Why would I celebrate St. Patrick's Day? The only thing the Irish ever contributed to the world is cabbage. Americans will even make up a holiday solely dedicated to being high-- take 420 for example. Only Americans would come up with a day dedicated to smoking weed. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. REAL potheads don't need a special day for getting high when there's 364 other perfectly good days in a year for doing that. And we wonder why the Japanese outperform us in everything. Japanese people don't have a pot-smoking day. They don't even celebrate real holidays-- you wanna know what the Japanese's idea of a holiday is? A 8-hour workday instead of the usual 12.
I don't know what Chilli wants..
but I do know what she needs--a reality check.
Seriously. As I listen to her list of "requirements" for a man, the first thing I notice is that she does not mention ANYTHING about personality until later on in the show. For the first part, all we know is that he must not smoke, drink.. or eat pork. Oh, and he has to be gorgeous. Not cute, DROP DEAD GORGEOUS.
Chilli is a cute girl, no denying that.. but in order to demand the best, you should probably be offering the best.. and I just don't see anything about her that is deserving of the God she's seeking.
Guess nobody ever told her "beggars can't be choosers"..
You deserve whatever you LET be done to you, good or bad.
I truly believe this.
It's one thing to have something fucked up done to you..
but when you choose (meaning, you have the option to leave)
to be in situations where you can reasonably assume those things
are going to happen to you...
.. you lose my sympathy.
I'm not going to sit around and tell you you're stupid,
nor am I going to agree with you when you vent.
but I'm also not going to sit around and help you feel like a victim.
It's hard for me to feel sorry for somebody who's being treated like shit by their significant other when I know they have the capacity and ability to leave. Yes, he's guilty (at the very least) of being an asshole.
But do you really expect sympathy? YOU are the one "suffering" his "abuse".. YOU are the one feeling it firsthand, at it's greatest intensity.
..but yet it's still not bad enough for you to dislike him enough to leave..
then why would your story, as told to me, secondhand, watered-down and a step removed from the pain itself..make me dislike him in the ways you clearly can't even bring yourself to do?
By even continuing to be with him, you saying he is worthy of being with.
I don't care if you're the most caring, sweet person in the world-- if you allow something to be done to you, you deserve it.
If you truly think you deserve better... then go get it. Or at least, get away from what you "don't deserve" in the meantime.
This goes for everything, not just relationships. If somebody is taking advantage of you in ANY way, do not expect sympathy from me if you refuse to take steps to change it.
It's one thing to have something fucked up done to you..
but when you choose (meaning, you have the option to leave)
to be in situations where you can reasonably assume those things
are going to happen to you...
.. you lose my sympathy.
I'm not going to sit around and tell you you're stupid,
nor am I going to agree with you when you vent.
but I'm also not going to sit around and help you feel like a victim.
It's hard for me to feel sorry for somebody who's being treated like shit by their significant other when I know they have the capacity and ability to leave. Yes, he's guilty (at the very least) of being an asshole.
But do you really expect sympathy? YOU are the one "suffering" his "abuse".. YOU are the one feeling it firsthand, at it's greatest intensity.
..but yet it's still not bad enough for you to dislike him enough to leave..
then why would your story, as told to me, secondhand, watered-down and a step removed from the pain itself..make me dislike him in the ways you clearly can't even bring yourself to do?
By even continuing to be with him, you saying he is worthy of being with.
I don't care if you're the most caring, sweet person in the world-- if you allow something to be done to you, you deserve it.
If you truly think you deserve better... then go get it. Or at least, get away from what you "don't deserve" in the meantime.
This goes for everything, not just relationships. If somebody is taking advantage of you in ANY way, do not expect sympathy from me if you refuse to take steps to change it.
Boredom leads to beauty
Today I got so bored that I actually started researching various cosmetic surgeries. I'm not insecure with how I look, nor do I plan to actually follow through on any of them, but everytime I look in the mirror I am not utterly disgusted but rather utterly BORED with what I see. I've ran out of places I'm willing to pierce and tattoos are out of the question right now, so naturally the next logical thing to do would be to pay $300 dollars to have a dimple put in my left cheek (or $500 to get one in each cheek, if I'm feeling like a deal). I was also relieved to find out that, if need be, they could remove fat from my butt cheeks and put it in my face cheeks to give me back that youthful look that at the age of 22 I am apparently losing-- I say apparently because one site advised me that the sooner you start having cosmetic surgery the less of it you will need later in life.. kind of like preventative care, I guess?
Lightskin, darkskin, stfu.
I went to Jamaica for spring break, and Jamaicans, like many other cultures, has made a big deal out of lightskin, Everywhere I went, I was harassed because of my skin color-- and the reason I know it was my skin color is because sometimes the guys that harassed me were behind me and thus couldn't even see my face to know whether or not I was "attractive". My skin color alone was enough.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those girls who takes offense when a guy says he prefers lightskin, darkskin, white, or any other color. I guess, in my opinion, skin color is just like any other feature that's more commonly "accepted" as a form of judging who is attractive-- I've never seen why preferring lightskin or darkskin was any more or less valid than judging somebody's attractiveness by their height, shape of their eyes, lips, body shape, etc.
What I DO take offense to is when people assume things about my personality because of my skin color. One of the repeat-offender harassers, one I passed every day on my way to the beach, said to me one of the times "you must think you're too good to talk to me because I'm dark and you're light". .which I find ironic because I'm willing to bet the only reason he was so desperate to get my attention in the first place was for that very same reason-- I'm light.
I also received (and have received here in the US lots of times) negative attention from darkskinned girls. I'm not the one who decided what was attractive to men, it's not my fault.. Don't you see me laying on the beach trying to get like you?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those girls who takes offense when a guy says he prefers lightskin, darkskin, white, or any other color. I guess, in my opinion, skin color is just like any other feature that's more commonly "accepted" as a form of judging who is attractive-- I've never seen why preferring lightskin or darkskin was any more or less valid than judging somebody's attractiveness by their height, shape of their eyes, lips, body shape, etc.
What I DO take offense to is when people assume things about my personality because of my skin color. One of the repeat-offender harassers, one I passed every day on my way to the beach, said to me one of the times "you must think you're too good to talk to me because I'm dark and you're light". .which I find ironic because I'm willing to bet the only reason he was so desperate to get my attention in the first place was for that very same reason-- I'm light.
I also received (and have received here in the US lots of times) negative attention from darkskinned girls. I'm not the one who decided what was attractive to men, it's not my fault.. Don't you see me laying on the beach trying to get like you?
Save The Males.
http://savethemales.tumblr.com/
I know I haven't been blogging. I'm sorry. But, I have opened a new blog.. this one, however, is dedicated solely to telling of the pitiful advances I (and hopefully soon, other women) experience. It's a Tumblr blog but in case you didn't know, you can actually follow Tumblr & Wordpress blogs even if youre using a Blogger/Blogspot dashboard. Just go to "add" and put in the url of the site like you would with a regular blogspot blog.
So go add it! And if you're a girl who has a story/experience to share, please feel free to email it to me( ccelevn@gmail.com ) so I can share with the world! Lol.
I know I haven't been blogging. I'm sorry. But, I have opened a new blog.. this one, however, is dedicated solely to telling of the pitiful advances I (and hopefully soon, other women) experience. It's a Tumblr blog but in case you didn't know, you can actually follow Tumblr & Wordpress blogs even if youre using a Blogger/Blogspot dashboard. Just go to "add" and put in the url of the site like you would with a regular blogspot blog.
So go add it! And if you're a girl who has a story/experience to share, please feel free to email it to me( ccelevn@gmail.com ) so I can share with the world! Lol.
Anger.
There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.
Plato
Plato
A lot of people have told me they are stunned at my apparent inability to get angry. I can get annoyed (usually in response to some physical annoyance, like being poked or too cold) but anger is a rare emotion for me. When they ask me what my "secret" is, I've had trouble in the past articulating it for them.. but the above quote describes my mentality perfectly.
If you're angry at something you can help or change, why not put the energy in helping or changing that?
If you're angry at something you can't change... let it go.
On a random sidenote: Something I thought about last night as somebody tried to insult me, LOL. There are two types of insults in my opinion.. ones that have truth to them, and ones that don't.
Now, if you insult me with something that are true.. say, if you insult the size of my forehead or my laziness.. it doesn't hurt me. Mostly because I already discovered & accepted any flaw you could point out, a long time ago.
If you insult me with something that isn't true.. well, that should be obvious. It's obvious to me, but I guess not to everybody, because at least once a week I hear somebody being outraged by a "false" statement made about them. If you aren't gay, why do you care that somebody has called you gay?
If somebody came up to me and said "you're such a redhead".. I wouldn't care because obviously, it's not the truth.
Just my two cents.
Ballin!
Basketball player: You must not know who I am.
Me: You must not know who I am.
Basketball player: I'm " ". You must not know who I am. I play ball.
Me: Ok.. I play piano. What's your point?
Basketball player: Have you ever been with a ball player before?
Me: Um.. no.
Basketball player: Well I'd like to show you something different.
Me: What are you talking about?
Basketball player: Well you say you ain't never been with a basketball player before
Me: So?
Basketball player: So maybe we can make out or something so you can see what that's like
Me: Do basketball players make out differently than regular guys or something?
Basketball player: Yeah ma
Me: You're drunk.
Basketball player: Nah I'm saying.. we get a lot of play so like, we're better at it.
Me: You must not know who I am.
Basketball player: I'm " ". You must not know who I am. I play ball.
Me: Ok.. I play piano. What's your point?
Basketball player: Have you ever been with a ball player before?
Me: Um.. no.
Basketball player: Well I'd like to show you something different.
Me: What are you talking about?
Basketball player: Well you say you ain't never been with a basketball player before
Me: So?
Basketball player: So maybe we can make out or something so you can see what that's like
Me: Do basketball players make out differently than regular guys or something?
Basketball player: Yeah ma
Me: You're drunk.
Basketball player: Nah I'm saying.. we get a lot of play so like, we're better at it.
Whatever happened to the good old days?
I logged on Facebook a minute ago. Julie McKnight (google her, amazing voice) is awesome. There are no other words to describe it. On one of her Facebook statuses, there was a debate about the whole Tiger Woods situation. Here are just a few snippets of what she had to say about it:
"Whatever happen to the good ol' days when a mistress just played her position? She wasn't tappin' phones and saving text/emails msgs! She didn't want any drama either! What is the world coming to?!"
LOL.
She also made the point that:
To be honest, it's a topic we've never discussed. I'm actually kind of shy discussing things like open relationships, polygamy, etc with older people, who tend to be less liberal.. especially if they happen to be the mother of somebody close to me. but it's good to know she's down for the cause.
Tight.
Lmao.
"Whatever happen to the good ol' days when a mistress just played her position? She wasn't tappin' phones and saving text/emails msgs! She didn't want any drama either! What is the world coming to?!"
LOL.
She also made the point that:
To be honest, it's a topic we've never discussed. I'm actually kind of shy discussing things like open relationships, polygamy, etc with older people, who tend to be less liberal.. especially if they happen to be the mother of somebody close to me. but it's good to know she's down for the cause.
Tight.
Lmao.
2am Club.
Despite the fact that I had never heard of them before, they ended up being superior to the person I actually went to Cat's Cradle to see. I should have known they were gonna be good when one of the girls in front of me turned to her friend and said "I'm totally gonna fuck them tonight!"
Not "him", singular. Them. That's talent.
If you're reading this, guys, I hope you hopped on that ass. I tried to point her out to you when I saw you lurking above the crowd. Yeah, I saw you, looking over your prospects. Did you notice me? If you didn't, you should have.. I'm pretty sure me & my friend were the only two girls "of color" in the crowd. However, my hair is dyed blonde so maybe I managed to blend in.
So yeah. 2 am Club. Check them out. Don't take the drunk sorority girl's word.. because let's be honest- it's not so rare for one of them to say they're totally gonna fuck somebody tonight.
http://www.myspace.com/2amclub
If I had done my research, I would have recognized Marc when he came in the club. If I had known he was one of the singers in a band that produced music like this, I wouldn't have looked at him like he was some crazy white boy on some type of drugs when he came in with his hoodie on, dancing. Granted, my first thought was "He's cute!" but my second was definitely "What is he on?"
I tried to take pictures. When I'm taking pictures in a place like this, I try to focus on one person and get a couple of quick shots then move on to the next. However, after Marc I had to give up-- the group of girls in front of me consistently blocked my view with the off-beat waving of their hands. So, to the other band members, sorry! I owe you. Next time, I'll make sure I get there before Alpha Chi Omega does.
If you want the full-sized pics, email me: cbnochi11@yahoo.com
Not "him", singular. Them. That's talent.
If you're reading this, guys, I hope you hopped on that ass. I tried to point her out to you when I saw you lurking above the crowd. Yeah, I saw you, looking over your prospects. Did you notice me? If you didn't, you should have.. I'm pretty sure me & my friend were the only two girls "of color" in the crowd. However, my hair is dyed blonde so maybe I managed to blend in.
So yeah. 2 am Club. Check them out. Don't take the drunk sorority girl's word.. because let's be honest- it's not so rare for one of them to say they're totally gonna fuck somebody tonight.
http://www.myspace.com/2amclub
If I had done my research, I would have recognized Marc when he came in the club. If I had known he was one of the singers in a band that produced music like this, I wouldn't have looked at him like he was some crazy white boy on some type of drugs when he came in with his hoodie on, dancing. Granted, my first thought was "He's cute!" but my second was definitely "What is he on?"
I tried to take pictures. When I'm taking pictures in a place like this, I try to focus on one person and get a couple of quick shots then move on to the next. However, after Marc I had to give up-- the group of girls in front of me consistently blocked my view with the off-beat waving of their hands. So, to the other band members, sorry! I owe you. Next time, I'll make sure I get there before Alpha Chi Omega does.
If you want the full-sized pics, email me: cbnochi11@yahoo.com
Exactly. It's about both parties working with the same information.